its Tuesday, 31st of July 2012, 6.15 a.m , the day i have made my unequivocal promise to Him..a pure and real one..I believe this is what He have been waiting for because He knew all this time that i can change myself... i have the power, the courage, the strength to change and it just the matter of time. And now i'm ready :) Thanks Allah for giving me a second chance..I wont let You down this time :)

money sickness =P

just finish my super duper hangout with my best friend.. it was AWESOME especially when you know you just received your salary this month...perghhhhhhh!!! trust me, you wont find anyone like me who could spent a bag full of money just like that in one day..*snapping finger =P hahahha, not a good thing actually though it is really my  super power..kekeke..i do feel sorry for my future hubby..even back home, it feels like i didn't spent enough yet..aigoo2, what happen la pika oiii...hahaha, well, it was once in a blue moon puuunn and the money came all way down from my effort, working at haagen daz..full time, morning till night, 9.00am till 11.00pm, 14 hours everyday for a month..who could possibly stand it???tiring, stressful, but its worth it.. :) 

shall sleep well tonight :)

no more hiding..

analogy...

am watching some videos performed by the piano guys and their music was really freaking awesome..so calm that it really make me into it...then something pop out into my head..The feeling of being this one person.. A person who has her own aim about her future, who can differentiate the good things and the bad one, not only able to differentiate, but at the same time, able to control herself in  doing what she should and what she shouldn't. she is the one who has gone through some much bitter moments and bad experiences, teaching her to be tougher as the time pass by. and now, she should be ready to change herself into a better person.she is the one who soon going to be the greatest doctor and specialist, end up in a marriage with the right person, still with her strong iman in her heart.. insyaAllah..she is the one whom in few more days, would be a medical student, getting new friends that can lead her to Allah, lead her to the right path and future, with all the lecturers, supporting and helping her to achieve her ambition, her parents who always pray for her day and night, and Allah who always be with her no matter when where or how. and she herself with all those courage, pulling herself from bed every morning doing what she should do. now, she is whom she was suppose to be this whole time..no more hiding herself, no more pretending and no more acting as she knows the time has come.she knows it! and she shall fly into the world, revealing her true magic and her true colours..just wait for it...

hahahhaha..first time ever..well, im ready for the answers actually so nothing goes wrong..awesome steps i did there..full of courage and dumbly done..not sure if its a good step or bad steps, but come on, at least i can learn a lot from that..thanks to my friend..an awesome friend and i shall learnt from that mistake!! thank Allah too cause i know every cloud has a silver lining :)

thank you Allah :)

this seems to be like a diary...sometimes it came up useful, motivated, sometimes it end up with a bunch of crap..well, that is life I suppose..full of pretty comfort wont give much colour in your life..i wonder how my future would end up ..of course Allah has decided it, the best for each of us..from kindergarten to primary, moving to secondary and now, ending from pre-U to degree soon..each stage has it's own memory, sad, joy, embarrassing, terrified, overwhelmed..hahaha..what a life..Thanks Allah for giving me a life..I know i've done so much sins and i dont know if i have the ability to prevent anymore sins in the future, but i promise that i will try my best..You have given me so much and it really make me ashamed of myself :( only you can forgive me Ya Allah..please give me one more chance to change :') 

so true...

make it simple

find this picture really meaningful..you dont have to pile up your stress all day because of your annoyingly neighbours , missing someone like crazy until u cant focus in your class or keep your feeling to yourself until the person you like end up in a marriage..just move your ass and do what you should do..you only have one life and you can never turn back the time..it has nothing to do with your courage, maybe a lil bit..but most of them is just your ego..miracles do  happen if you make it happen..just have faith and do it done. if it turns out bad, make it as a useful lesson. you can also tell those awful stories or embarrassing  moments to your kids or grandchild cause i bet they will love it!! and if it turns out as a miracle or happy ending, proud of it because it was you who had the courage to step foward.. dang! i love it!

p/s : seems like changes might happen :)
         - 6 days to gooo -

it's done..

best friend : do it now or never..regrettttt...

nike : just do it!!

sifu : close it, cover it, protect it, shield it, harden it and just keep it..

lil sister : awwwwwwwww :D

manager/ boss : think ahead..future..future..cucumber vs durians 

myself : ..................* shaky & goose bumps .........sweating.........-DONE!!!

results:

-awesome-

:)       ---->      : I       ---->        :(      ---->       --''       ---->         zzZZZ

nervoussss!!

wooohhhh!! so close!!

Woooooww, im officially going to be a university student next thursday. A real university student, struggling for that one title, '' A Doctor''.. 5 years, what a long journey..i need to strictly control my emotion, heart, soul, brain, eyes, ears, mouth, etc for 5 years..Hoping for the best! and yes, i always get that kind of feeling, " im going to be a junior again, know nothing, clueless there..hahaha!!! may Allah be with me along this journey..


p/s: sometimes, i dream of being a capable hot attractive smart & nerdy medic student =P *what a thought, but who knows...

keeping to myself

you know the feeling like you wanted to stay in bed 24/7..
i am now. its not because im too lazy to do anything, it just im scared of my future..
last night, i cant even sleep worrying about something..im not sure what..it just came..
i assume it might have something to do with my future..(degree life)
i was hoping to hear good news this morning and yes, i got it just now..
it was not basically a good one cause it came along with a bad one..
i got my offer to study medicine in indonesia (yeayy!! alhamdulillah, good news), uni gadjah mada!!
and i am really3 EXCITED  about the offer =))))))
but, 'there's a but there'... =((((
 jpa said i have to pay on my own for the first year..they would only sponsor starting my 2nd year onwards..
and the amount is way to huge..my dad said he  affcanord it, but they dont want to take the risk..
if there's an emergency on that year, they might caught in trouble..and i dont want them to be in trouble just because of my dream..maybe it is not my fate to further my studies there although it was really my dream..
then, they have made their decision, which im going to pursue my studies in cucums, cyberjaya..
i cant say anything although i was hoping they would even ask me first if its ok or something like other parents might have do..sad part i guess..yeah, im a lil bit sensitive..dats me.. =P
well, i cant say anything..just able to let go my tears in hot warm shower..feeling much better now..
oh Allah, if this is what i've been destined for, there's one favor i need, ''kuatkan hati fizikal rohani dan imanku untuk menempuh segala cabaran dan ujian yang mungkin bakalku hadapi kelak''
Ya Allah, engkau mengetahui apa yang tersirat di hatiku ini, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha berkuasa dan Maha Mengetahui segalanya'' =)
aku hanya hambamu yang lemah yang hanya mampu berdoa, usaha lalu tawakkal. =')

p/s: still hoping for good news..if not, cucms, wait for me..2 August 2012

skip a beat..

lub dub ---- lub dud

You make my heart skip a beat..

a truthful thing. who cares about it..

its my blog and this is my story..haha

being a girl is a tough thing..i dont know about guys, 

but, for me itself..hmm..maybe someone out there have been in my place before..

i mean, having a crush..right, and it would be the most fantastic fairy tale ever if your crush secretly also have a crush on you too..awesome!! but hard to find =P

yes, i do have a crush and its started crushing my heart..damn --''

looking at your phone day and night, expecting he would even call or text a message..

watching romantic love story which would end up making you day dreaming all day long..

maybe right..some would say it's pathetic, some would even laughing proving that they have been there..

it is such an epic..sometimes you wish this things would stop..

seems so ridiculous..you see, you're having such a suffering life, cant stop thinking about him, yet he might doesn't seems to think about you, at all.., if he thinks, its a bonus, but if he not, then i cant say anything..pathetic once again (referring to me)

so, i'm just posting this thing to make me realize that i have been wasting my precious time doing this ''imaginary stuff in my mind''..that's all..and to him who unknowingly making my heart skips a beat, i'm not sure  if i'm gonna hit you for making my life miserable or keep having a crush on you for making my heart feel awesome, but i'm just gonna say thanks..at least i get a chance to feel the experience.. :)

p/s : happy ramadhan to all muslims..may this ramadhan makes me closer to Allah :)

Fantasy vs Reality

a deep meaningful story i guess..a reality that every women or girls should realize n keep in their mind..

Some rules in which seems logical for me based on this story:

(rules for most girls if she is not the exception )

-1st rule  : If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you

-2nd rule : If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit

-3rd rule : If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he is not interested

-4th rule : If a guy wants to see you, he will see you

-5th rule : If a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen and he will ask you out

-6th rule : If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen no matter what

and this sentence really open my view about what girls usually unconsciously do every second, minutes or even hours in their life.

'' Girls like to built up this stuff in their mind, take each little thing a guy does and then twisted it into something else which is insane ''

wuahhaa, nice shot..taking the nice pieces and create their own fairy tale..plus, a wise guy once told me, 

'' Girls really like to think in a complex and complicated way which far far differ from guy, in which shows that guys are just simple''

well, referring to the reality itself..hell yeah its true (based on my point of view laa =P ). 

and yes, what can i do, guessing that i might believe in this rules too :)

p/s: rough day i guess..not quite sure it can be a fairy tale or just a sweet dream passing by..although, still and enjoyable hangout :) nite2 world

express everything then erase them!

draft has been deleted as it didnt show any maturity of a doc to be.. =P

p/s: nite2..off to bed

feel the experince..

FREEDOM!!

wuahaha, u know the feeling like all your burden has been thrown into the sea, perghhh..hehe

well, act this is what i feel after officially resigned again from my job..

it was a good experience and thank Allah for this opportunity .

kelly naba n hanie

yeah, basically this is me..still known as the tallest..hehe..what i expect is way beyond my expectation..sounds like WHAT?? kerja je pun, apa nk expect x expect nye??

hahaha, well, its normal right for teenagers and girls (reffering to me also) need money in their bag, handbags, wallet, purse or even pocket in order to do their hobby of all time, SHOPPING!!

yes, parents can give money but come on la, sometimes earning by yourself can bring such a big satisfaction.. trust me babyeh coz i have gone through..working at haagen dazs, those who cant control their emotion, its a warning not to work here..handling with MOST of the customers who doesnt know a little thing called patience, fussy customers, stingy customer and etc..thats what i have gone through and ive learned a lot..

fondue

paradise

and can you believe it..i learn how to do those things..seems like simple but still proud of myself..especially when you see customers who excited with your creation and taking pictures of YOUR creation..*terasa hebat sekejap =P

till then...
p/s : im free till 2nd August, so im gonna brush up my mind, body, soul, and appearance..to those who can understand =P